Hello, hello,
Back in the days when I very first started writing a newsletter (erm, 2015?!) it was via my business name, Guilty Mothers Club, and I did what I called a ‘monthly edit’. I’d include blog posts, links to good reads and updates on what was going on workshop wise.
But I’d also just write what was on my mind. It was one of my favourite bits about running that business. It was in part how I realised that writing was my thing, because I’d drop all the other more pressing jobs to work on my newsletter. My mailing list grew fast but what I was most proud of were my email open rates. I was told industry average was around 45% at the time, but mine were around the 80% mark. It didn’t feel like writing an email to ‘an audience’ but rather writing an email to ‘a friend.’
My favourite thing ever was getting email replies. I’d save them to read when I wasn’t rushed. They would bring me the biggest smile. I guess I was still the kid who adored having a pen pal, who flaming loved (still loves) telling a story, who when inspired or invigorated by something (a book, an idea, an injustice, a poem) can’t help but grab someones arm and tell them about it.
Anyway, I’ve realised that I miss them. I miss that.
Moving onto Substack as a platform (for reading and writing on) has been wonderful in so many ways (I moved from my old email provider, Mailchimp, because my mailing list got too big and it had started costing too much. Plus I closed my business, so it all felt disconnected).
But here on Substack, I thought I needed a niche. I had to write about one thing. It would be journaling. No, poetry. Parenting? How about creativity? Argh, how to put yourself in one box. When actually, I just want to write to you like we’re friends. I want to share the fact I’m currently in a peri-menopause mind fog and ask for advice (I’ve written an email to you on this, coming shortly). I want to know what books you’re reading. I want to share the poem I read last week that made me cry because I think you’ll love it too. And yes, tell you about some of the stuff I do to earn a living. Ways we can work or write together.
So, I’m gonna try out returning to a similar format. Committing to a sort of monthly round up email. Sharing stuff I’ve collected for us over the month. Chunking these into sections (but probably making up new sections as I go along too, ha).
There might be the odd other additional blog post but largely this monthly email is what I am hoping you will enjoy receiving. Fingers crossed.
(Paid subscribers, you’ll still get the additional personal essays and journaling content but I hope this monthly email will help us on the organisation front too. I can link to any paid content you might have missed and share dates for the month ahead so you don’t miss anything).
A once a month journal edit.
And fingers crossed, I might get some replies too (you can comment on here rather than email btw, but I love either).
So with that in mind, here we go for April:
Journaling:
My favourite journaling prompt this month has been this one I found from
who asked:Q. If you live exactly the way you lived over the last 2 weeks, for the rest of your life, where would you end up? Would you harbour any regrets?
As we continue into the second quarter of the year and I muse on updating a few goals and embracing that Spring energy, I also adapted it slightly to ask;
Q. If you were to continue the rest of the year living the way you have over the last 3 months, where will you end up? Will you harbour any regrets?
I can also highly recommend this whole post by Katrin, it is full of brilliant questions for introspection.
For paid subscribers, incase you missed it, I also sent out this last week - ‘Journaling prompts for improving self-confidence.’
Poetry:
As if I wasn’t going to include a poetry section! This poem though. Seriously, this poem. ‘A Course in Miracles’ by Meg Freitag. You can read another one of her poems that had me holding my breath here.
Parenting:
Is there ever a point at which screen use stops being an issue as a parent?
It’s the thing that causes most friction in our family and the thing that plays on my mind constantly. My daughter is now 13 so has a phone and all the additional worries which that brings. My youngest is 5 and somehow navigates Minecraft before I’ve so much as thought about whether it’s age appropriate.
Luckily I’ve found the answer. Yeah, I’m joking. As if I know the answer. I’m wearing holey socks and recently, when an optician attempted to get my youngest to look straight ahead by telling him to look into his eyes because he could ‘make them change colour’, I asked, in all seriousness, whether he really could. It was an awkward moment for us both.
But I have found a few people with more common sense than me in recent months. Zoe Blaskey on this episode of the Motherkind podcast spoke to Ash Brandin who helped me to change my perspective on the whole thing. I discovered Techno Sapiens - a great newsletter on all thing kids and tech. And my kids are now already annoyed with me using the phrase ‘opportunity cost’ after reading this brilliant piece by Emily Oyster at Parentdata. Not sure they all understand the concept. Even I have to remind myself. But look, it’s a good article, and it made sense at the time.
And finally, this isn’t one for the kids but more of an attempt to resolve the awkwardness of my giving out, “phones are the devil” lectures all the while, erm, not looking up from my phone. I’ve not read this yet but after Nicola Too Much by Nicola Washingtonrecommended it, I have it lined up ready - The Phone Fix, by Dr Faye Begeti. I’ll let you know how I get on.
Books and other random musings (catchy)
Anyone else need reminding sometimes that they are an adult?
Yes, I hear you say. Constantly. Like every time a kid expects you to know something basic like, what day of the week is it? No idea. Zero.
Or, what’s the name of that bit in your neck that takes your food to your tummy? NOT throat pipe. I can confirm to you now that this is not the answer. A fellow adult (actually it was my 13yo but let’s pretend it was another adult) swooped in to save me.
But also, what I actually meant by this question is, do you sometimes need reminding that you don’t have to follow all the rules? Life is not school. I’m not condoning law breaking here btw, I’m talking about the dull ass rules about how we live our lives. There is so much advice everywhere, isn’t there. But as an adult, you get to do what you want! You get to say yes, and no, and question stuff. I think I’m still nursing an education conformity hangover. Anyone else? I need this written across my forehead. I’ve settled for my journal.
This month I am reading:
Men that hate women by Laura Bates. Wow. I can’t stop thinking about it. It discusses the roots of misogyny and how they manifest in online communities such as incels, pickup artists, trolls, and more. She also explores how young boys and men end up in these sexist and violent spaces. A friend of mine said that they bought a few copies and gave them to their secondary school. What a great idea. It’s not an easy read but it’s an incredibly important and powerful one.
The Cat Prince and Other Poems, by Michael Pedersen. My latest poetry book purchase. So much vulnerability and heart in this collection. Reading it alongside Men Who Hate Women has proved wonderfully serendipitous, as aside from poems like, ‘boys holding hands’ - which addresses toxic masculinity face on, the whole thing is so full of hope with its tales of tender boyhood, friendship and survival.
Are you reading a book right now that you can’t recommend highly enough? If so pleeeease do share!
Write together:
Like poetry? Want to sit around and read poetry to other women who like poetry? Over on Poetry Pals we have our second live poetry event on the 9th of May. Less spoken word, more whispered word as we share favourite poems and chat about why we love them while eating crisps and drinking tea. Find all the details here.
On Tuesday 21st May, 8.15pm (London) I’m running an online journaling workshop - Nature Journaling for People Who Can’t Draw Birds. I think the title is pretty self-explanatory. You don’t have to journal already to come along, just bring a notebook and pencil and we’ll explore how incorporating nature into our scribbling can be excellent on every level. There is also an (optional) daily nature journaling challenge the week before to get you in the mood. Upgrade to a paid subscription (below) to come along.
Also for paid subscribers, our next Sunday scribbling session will be on 12th May, 7.45am (London) - joining details here. These sessions are online, unguided and exceptionally lovely. We say hello, we share an opening writing prompt, we write alone but together, we finish with a quote or poem or something that sets up our day. It seems early for a Sunday morning but these sessions never fail to make me feel better.
Ok, think that’s everything.
Do let me know what you think of the slightly updated format.
Until next month,
Nelly x
Absolutely love this shift and all the recommendations to work through 👏😘
I’ve been trying to find a balance of niche- and organic-writing here too! I love that you are embracing this evolution in your writing. You’re giving others permission to do the same!