Of course forget the f***ing ukulele
And a book that I am in LOVE with...
Why is it that when you have a week off school (two in our case), ALL the routines you’ve set up in order to leave the house on time go completely tits up. It’s almost like the Universe is reminding you what a weird, unnatural thing it is to be waking kids up, rushing about to get into an office, forcing on black stiff school shoes (that may or may not still fit but will have to because there’s only seven weeks left) and forcing down food whether you’re hungry or not because there won’t be anything else.
We forgot the ukulele first day back, obviously. Despite the reminders on the Whatsapp group that I spend 90% of my time avoiding and the other 10% lauding for holding my life together. The message came through, I thought about remembering the ukulele, and then had to resolve an incident involving Raf rollerskating around the kitchen whilst carrying a full bowl of granola (homemade but mostly burnt because I have good intentions but shit follow through) and a weapon under his arm (aka an adult sized dodge-ball). Why did he have said ball and where did it come from? Who knows. You can never know these things, it’s not the point. The point is damage control. The problem wasn’t this particular scene in and of itself; I’m perfectly capable of turning a blind eye to this sort of potential carnage. The problem was that an older sibling was also in the mix. H, who, before my very eyes is turning into that heady mix of pre-teen with enough sass to fill an Olivia Rodrigo concert but still requiring you to sign her reading record because “it’s not been signed for three months and there are now numerous messages asking for you to write in it more often” (okay, okay, jeeez). And when it comes to her relationship with Raf, the combo of teenage hormones and general wildness often leads to everyone ducking for cover. It was Monday morning on the first day back after holidays and you are already running behind, so, we all know what happens next.
Anyway, ‘roller-skating-weapon-kitchen-collision’ gate meant that I took my eye off the ukulele ball for all of ten seconds. And then that was that.
I found myself remembering again on the walk to school and then doing a mum-run back home to grab the damn thing. But because we were already late, and I don’t think things through, I told them to keep walking but slowly and I’d catch them up.
I didn’t catch them up. Obviously. Firstly because I couldn’t find the damn ukulele once I got home (because it had been, erm, practised so much). And secondly because I can’t run without pissing myself. On the first point, I found it (after a panicked phone call to Gazzy who told me it was definitely in the cupboard under the stairs to which I answered that I had obviously checked there and IT WAS NOT. It was.) On the second point, well, I can just about do a gentle jog but when I had to break into an ACTUAL sprint after realising that they had pretty much gone to school - crossing all the roads without me - yeah, it was game over. So then I’m left considering if I need a second shower AND having to “ask” the teachers in the playground if my kids arrived safely whilst pretending that I KNOW that they did because I watched them walk in with my very own responsible parent eyes. “They did? And they were very sweet holding hands not looking at all panicked having been abandoned because of a musical instrument that wasn’t nearly as important as their safety but their Mum wanted to box off the school run so she could have a solo coffee which she’d been looking forward to since last Monday?” Oh lovely. Excellent parenting right there.
So then I’m back home clearing up the milk that sloshed out of the bowl after a particularly sharp left turn on the skates, picking up the rubbish that a teenager has emptied from their pockets and just left all over the side because the bin was at least one metre further to travel (wtaf) and feeling like I’ve already completed a short marathon. Which I did…actually. All before starting some work.
So there we have it. Back at school for the final term of the year…holy shit!!!
Reading / books / poetry etc.
What are you reading right now?
I’m half way through ‘Braiding Sweetgrass’ by Robin Wall Kimmerer and I cannot believe I have not read it before. My pal lent it to me, saying, “you are you going to love it” and she was 100% right. I’ve since heard it’s really nice on audio book. I’m gonna share a few pages so you’ll know if it’s your thing. Gazzy is loving how often I am talking about trees nowadays, even more than I already talked about trees. Which was a lot.
“All flourishing is mutual”. Mind blowing stuff.
I’ve also just finished, ‘The Safekeep’ by Yael van der Wouden, which a friend recommended. We normally share taste in books but differed a little with this one. I found it a bit slow to get going and some of the characterisation didn’t quite work for me. But she loved the role the house played in the story and all the atmosphere created around it. Saying that, we both had TONS to talk about after reading it - which I often think is testament to a great book. So it’s still a recommend.
Journaling:
It’s been fairly quiet on the journaling front over the past few weeks. Although I did do some journaling in the garden with the kids one day which was great. My eldest had her paints out and I like paints. I don’t like that I’m not good with paints. I also don’t like that I don’t like that I’m not good with paints. So I painted some words. And then stuck them in my journal to remind me that NO ONE is gonna die if I don’t paint neatly or prettily enough in my journal - the journal that NO ONE even sees. I mean what even is that level of bullshit that we do to ourselves. I realise I AM actually now sharing it, but I didn’t plan to when i was sat out there enjoying playing. So, we should do that more…right?!
Then I did start a page where I’m gonna write all the reasons why we create our own luck. Don’t ask me why. Sometimes you just need to go where you need to go. So, incase anyone wants to join me on a trip down ‘make your own luck’ road:
And finally, I normally sit firmly in the “I’m just gonna slip that paper into the waste bin when no one is looking” camp when it comes to the kids creations. But I do cut out odd snippets and drawings and write down those cute things they say (that you’ll just never remember) and stick them in my journal. Just on random pages because I like it that way (my head, and actually whole life can be a bit beautifully chaotic). When I look through old journals these pages always make me grin.
Notably, when he is feeling BIG feelings he likes to go out the room and write them on paper aeroplanes and throw them to us. Which I think is a great technique which should be employed more often, ha.
Links to other stuff I’ve enjoyed:
Noted by Jillian Hess is a great Substack newsletter for those who like….notes. This piece is literally just a list of great quotes and lines and notes.
If you were one for enjoying the agony aunt columns in the magazines of the 90’s (I was) then you might like Ask Polly by Heather Havrilesky . There’s something weirdly reassuring about hearing that you’re not the only one who lives with a headful of criticism and have someone wise tend to your fears and offer up some cracking advice that can often be applied well beyond the person who wrote the letter.
I was vaguely aware of this scandal when it happened last year via Instagram, but have only just got round to listening to the podcast. The Birthkeepers is the result of a year-long Guardian investigation into The Free Birth Society. It is at times a really tough listen and left me with so many questions and concerns around women and our birth choices.
A final few photos:
A particularly pleasing light landing on my hands as I did some reiki last week. Yes, I do that now. Have done for a while but quietly on the side. About to get a bit louder.
Found via The Midlife Rebel on Instagram here. The sort of fact I need to keep in mind.
And finally, vibes on returning to school / work after a week where you needed a coat and gloves in June…
Yes, there is a kid in there.
Keep on keeping on pals.
Loads of love
Nelly x
The morning you had getting the kids off to school feels very relatable, and so validating, thank you for sharing it!
I loved the little slice of your life at the beginning 😘