Up and down he dashes with a sketch pad in his hand. I’m wiping leftover beans off the kitchen table.
My ten year old son wants to show me a hare that he has drawn.
“Can I show you the wolf too? And here, this is an ostrich. Hang on, there are a few more lines I think it needs around the legs. I might just adjust the eye, it's not quite right yet.”
And he’s away. I hear him run, yes run, back upstairs to the desk in his bedroom.
Sit back on the chair under his small desk lamp. Just a single lead pencil in his hand.
He’s wearing nothing but his pants and an oversized hoodie. His legs soft and slightly pink, straight from the bath and pre bedtime. He’d been reading a book.
Sometimes a creative spark just catches you that way.
And here he is back. This time with a fox.
As I listen to him describe the whiskers I can’t stop staring at the light in his eyes. The way he is moving from foot to foot - his body almost restless with the creative current urging him to return to the page. The attention he is giving to me and this. Not for one single second did it appear to have crossed his mind if, or when to share his art with the world? Whether it is good enough. Finished even. If there is something more important that he should be doing. He is not wondering whether he could be an artist one day. Make enough cash in the process.
He is pleased with the fox. I hear him taking it around each room of our house, showing to every member of the family. Opening and shutting the front page of his book time and again. Shrugging his shoulders with just a hint of charming self-consciousness. A slight smile. The next day he will take the pad into school to show his teacher and friends. Can you imagine?!
I ache for this feeling. This whole experience: The dedication to play. The unwavering belief in creativity. The embracing of errors. The bubbling-over-enthusiasm. I want to race back to a sketch pad just because…
I am reminded once again of why it is so important to give oxygen to our creativity - this creativity that sits within all of us, waiting to be tended to. Of the value in allocating and prioritising time to warm ourselves up from the inside out by this sort of creative play. This for me is a big part of learning how to live a life.
I need this reminder regularly. The washing pile and sorting of other people’s needs and paying of bills all tend to shift their way to the surface of my too-tired brain. And during January more than ever, when my motivation levels are pretty low. The same routines, that don’t necessarily serve me well, call me. I end up surviving on fumes when what I want and need is to feel a bit of fire.
I recall a quote by Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic (there are a lot of quotes underlined in my copy of this book. I might re-read it this year, it’s been a while):
“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner—continually and stubbornly bringing forth the jewels that are hidden within you—is a fine art, in and of itself.”
Young children do this so easily, don’t they?! Whilst they are allowed. And I do experience this magic with poetry and writing - hence why I am so often found lost within my notebook and cannot stop buying poetry books for inspiration. It’s addictive. But then also, as an adult, other thoughts soon follow that are more cautious and restrictive. That looming self-doubt. The lengthy jobs list.
While away with friends this weekend (something I’ve done for the last few years and cannot recommend enough by the way, winter gatherings are great for the soul) I asked one the question, “where are you going to find your creative outlet this year?” It is a question I need to keep asking of myself. Or rather, in my case, how are you going to prioritise your creativity this year? There’s poetry, but what else? What other creative projects or hobbies or moments might quite literally set my soul on fire? Because they don’t need to be big or expensive. Creativity, I’ve found, is a pretty low maintenance friend as long as when you meet up you’re not constantly checking your phone. Where else can I create purely and entirely for the joy of creating? And how can I keep following the freedom that comes from a deep belief in the process as opposed to the end result. Because oh-my-goodness that creative magic is a special thing. And during these winter months that are so flaming long, it can provide a chink of light!
He is back by my side again. Wanting to talk about the world of possibilities waiting at the end of his sharpened pencil:
”I’m thinking about doing a bear next.
Or maybe, he looks up for a moment…maybe even an eagle!”
Yep, I grin.
You could do that.
A few writing prompts:
Q. How did you like to create when you were a child? If you are struggling to tap into your creative side then this is a nice place to get some inspiration.
Q. What, or where do you find inspires you? This is just a nice prompt to write about creativity and see what happens. After all, creativity is everywhere. It doesn’t just involve painting or writing. Are you inspired by beautiful makeup, house interiors, architecture? Music, dance, clothes? Notice when writing about this, the moment your pen begins to flow that bit faster and easier.
Q. Where could you find a creative outlet this year? You might already be all over this, but if not, what do you fancy trying? Could be as simple as buying a new sketch book and a pack of decent pencil crayons, or signing up for a workshop or class. Learning a new language or a new style of cooking. If you have a creative job, is there something aside from your work or an alternative direction that you want to try? Write a list of ideas then choose your favourite.
And if you haven’t read The Artists Way by Julia Cameron then can I suggest that you add this to your pile too? It’s another one I am about to start re-reading, and I rarely re-read anything!
I’d love to hear of any creative plans or thoughts in the comments.
Hels x
PS - have long wanted to do The Artist’s Way but it felt like maybe a commitment of time might be required to do artistic pursuits. But if I reframe that so that tying threads on my living room floor counts, perhaps it is achievable after all!
That beautiful, un-self-conscious pride! Gorgeous. So last night my mate came for a sleepover and we sat on floor in front of roaring fire and made friendship bracelets while chatting. It was SO LUSH. I’m not a winter person but it was one of this evenings that made me want the cold and dark to linger a little longer. Going to buy some embroidery thread and make more.