In praise of messy notebooks

Journaling does not need to be neat

When I think about my ‘style’ of journaling, a few things come to mind. I’d like to say it is artistic, beautiful and inspired. That my journals are truly a thing of beauty to flick through. But this would be a complete and utter lie.

For a start, my notebooks themselves are not pretty. They’re not making it onto anyone’s saved Instagram list. They’re often picked up randomly, discounted because the colour’s a bit blah, with a postcard or sticker glued on the front at some point to brighten them up a bit.

For me, my journal is mainly a written thing. I wonder whether this is more often just called ‘keeping a notebook’? Hmm, dunno. I don’t suppose it matters. I do some colouring and doodling, by which I mean I underline things with a pencil crayon and occasionally attempt a mandala. But mostly it’s just writing and let me tell you my handwriting is not the best. I have pages I just don’t like and then leave. Pages with a headline and nothing else because I had a good idea and didn’t see it through (don’t comment). I actually wreck the first page on purpose to remind me that there is no such thing as perfect. I scribble across it with a scratchy black biro.

Front page always scribbled, but also including a little love note!

I do always have a sort of contents page (and number my pages) just because I like to find things again. But this will start neat, adorned with highlighter (because I have good intentions) and then as time goes on there will be crossings out and the highlighter will be a distant memory.

My style of journaling is honest, playful and curious.

It is a hot mess of lists, random musings, venting on the page, recording stuff that happened that I want to remember, ideas, dreaming, poems, planning, gratitude and lots of organising of my days (these bits are a bit more ordered tbf). And personally, I love it this way.

Whenever I search for journaling inspiration I tend to find myself down a rabbit hole of neat bullet page spreads, painted backgrounds and gorgeous lettering. And I love these. I really do. My eldest (she is twelve) has started using her notebook in this way and it fills me with so much joy to see her falling in love with this style of journaling as a creative outlet. I am so in awe of these notebooks, I want them for myself.

But try as I might (and I do every now and again), it doesn’t happen. I am too wordy. I enjoy a little sketch to help me slow down for a moment but then I am drawn back to describing and scribbling.

My youngest two trying to inspire me away from my word-only notebook over the summer.

Pinterest swallows me up for an hour and then spits me out feeling like I shouldn’t be writing about journaling at all because it is not what I do. I just jot stuff down in a notebook. I’m just good at asking questions and imagining up themes to write about. Bringing women together who also like to write, not for any other reason really than to soak up the (numerous) benefits of writing stuff down with a pen and paper. Sometimes playfully, sometimes to uncover truths. I’ve personally found journaling to be a glorious way into other types of creative writing (as have lots of the women in our paid subscriber community), because the simple notebook doesn’t demand any form or plan or prior experience, it’s not asking for you to call yourself ‘a writer’ (shudder), it is only asking for you to grab a pen and have a go.

Journaling is brilliant because of it’s ability to be whatever you want and need it to be. It’s just using a notebook, basically. I actually wonder at using the term ‘journaling’ at all sometimes.

There is nothing wrong and everything right with beautiful, colourful, artistic, scrapbook-type journaling. As mentioned, I would like to do it more and want to keep being inspired to try. They take me right out of my comfort zone, in a good way. Ditto notebooks that are methodical and exact. Oh my goodness I have so much admiration for those.

And even the more ‘artistic’ journals don’t have to be kept tidy, something I have to reiterate to my daughter regularly when she gets frustrated with a sketch - this is your place to play!

So today I thought I’d fly the flag for messy notebooks. Random. Sporadic. Stop-start. Free flowing. A bit like our brains are sometimes, I guess (or is that just me too?) I thought I’d reassure anyone who has a notebook that has encountered a major word spillage (or indeed a coffee spillage), that this is perfectly acceptable (scrap that, admirable). And reiterate that if you don’t currently journal, and if this is in any small part due to thinking you have to be good at drawing or committed to a regimented exact routine, then this just isn’t the case.

There are no rules. You don’t have to be able to spell (thank god). Or be neat. Who cares if you have half-finished notebooks in every drawer (looks up nervously). Who cares if you haven’t journaled for months, you can start again whenever you like. Who cares if your notebooks look good on a shelf? Ok maybe I would like a beautiful shelf of notebooks but look, I’ve not got one. And I’m still here writing. I’m still figuring out my life on the page. I’m still discovering not just what I think, but how I feel which is SO flaming powerful. I am still scooping up whispy pieces of poetry and giving them a place to play.

And I am enjoying every second of the perfectly messy process.